No Room For Failture (Launch Me Into GREATNESS)

The one thing I learned is that you can't wait for other people to be ready to help you make your dreams come true. You have to get up and do it yourself.

If I would have waited for someone to keep their word about helping me "get to the top" I would have never taken the first step. Also people go through things, I understand.

I'm tired of being on the backburner. I watch everyone else climb to the top of the mountain. I'm the best hand of cards they have, but they never use me. So, from here on out I only want to associate with a team of people who want to help me bring out my highest potential and Launch me into Greatness.

I'm ready to put my work in. Now that I have a few things in order I’m taking matters into my own hands, the business woman, the model and the talent.

No Room For Failure

People describe success in a variety of ways. Your idea of success could be that you graduated college, bought a new house, or had your first child.

My success is finally having the money to make things happen in my life. A prime example is the modeling (creative art) thing.

People constantly tell me, "you should model" or ask me "do you model?" But, let us stop and think about this for a minute: To model, you need money, so you can invest in yourself (you are the product), pay for gas to travel to all the auditions and casting calls and pay for pictures etc. If you don't have a job, then you don't have the money to do all of that (unless you have a sugar daddy or you’re born into money...). The end goal is make money from this modeling thing. I have in the past yet, 20 dollars here and 40 bucks here for little snippets of exposure but I have been ready to go beyond.

 

 

I'm finally in a place where I have

1. The confidence

2. The money

3. Transportation and

4. The opportunity.

I may not be Tyra Banks, but I will get to be on the cover of a magazine and in a few top, high quality fashion shows. Remember, I don't want my name associated with anything that isn't top quality. That's just how I am. And if that means I have to wait for the right opportunity then I will.

Some people might be turned off by the new photos because they are a bite more "mature" and "sexy." But, I'm a grown lady. Also, with being a working, grown lady I finally have a say in what I choose to do with my modeling career.

So many people in the past, made promises to help me, get me exposure, but what good is exposure if it is not a national level where millions of people can see you. The whole point is for "exposure" is to be SEEN, what good will it do you if your just seen in little ol' Raleigh. NO, I want national exposure because there is SOME designer out there who I have yet to meet, who will fall in love with my look. I believe it, that I will sign with a top modeling and talent agency and it will all work out for my good, for glory of God.

This is the new me and I love it! No Mary Poppins and No Plain Jane live here.

R-E-A-W-A-K-E-N-I-N-G: Rise Of The Queen

I'm in a new place now.

Stronger

Wiser

Faster

Resilient

Comfortable In My Own Skin

I would say about, 8 months ago, all I wanted to do was die.  I couldn't think I could not function, my entire life revolved around "why me?" I felt defeated, raped and robbed of my joyful spirit. But, I knew that it was my own fault. I had to take responsibility for being so easily deceived. The devil tricked. Yeah, asshole got me. I didn't even see it coming. But, I realized that everything happens for a reason and that everything that is negative was turned around for my good.

I don't have any regrets about what I did, said, did not do or say while I was in VA, but every sleepless night, every tear, every moment of confusion led me to where I am today: peaceful. But cautious.

You see, I will never put another man on a pedestal again, nor will I ever allow a man to use his "resources" to allure me away from the flock. I was so happy to meet a man that I thought was about that "christian life." I thought him being about that life, would ignite a new passion in me to be about that life too. But it wasn't his desire to be about it that ignited my passion for God again, it was his (their) betrayal, the injustice, the murder of my child like spirit.

Every setback. Every stab in the back. Every sleepless night. It is all used for my good.

I had no choice but to delete many of the "family" that I met in VA from my Facebook because I was in a dark place. A very dark place. Such a dark place, that satan himself could have asked me to marry him and I would have said yes... yep, that dark. 

I had to cut them off, so I could focus and so that I could protect them from the anger and the hate that I felt toward and about that situation. I recently added a couple of the faces that I most admired back into my life. I only added the ones that were mature enough to understand what the "fight" is all about. Spiritual warriors for Gods' Love. 

The ones who don't run to mommy and daddy every time they get a scrape on their knee. You're a grown ass man/woman stop sucking on your mothers nipple and pick up a weapon and learn how to defend yourself. 

Stop blaming your screwed up life on other people. You made the choice to marry that person, or open your legs to that man and to have a baby with him. So now you deal with the consequences. 

Just like I made the choice to believe that they could be trusted.

We all make choices. But I don't run from my consequences. I face them head on, with complaints, without complaints. But I never give up and I never stop fighting. 

Yeah...I guess, I figure that if I had to learn how to fight out in a new place, on my own then others should learn how to too, because sooner or later their parents will leave this earth and they will be faced to meet the claws of injustice that rapes the world as we speak.