Bible Study Reflection: Honesty is always pretty
I wanted so much for God to use me to teach his people how to love, that I became self righteous when he took me to the next level.
Bible study Monday night was intense. Thank God for bible study. For a chance to get it right before the day of judgement.
I noticed over the years that when men meet me, they are always so fascinated by how beautiful I am. The beauty is logged into their memory and that is all they can think about capturing. My heart is the last thing they have a desire to protect from the lecherous beasts and vultures in the world. Often times they become the very beasts that I have to fight against. They get so caught up in the beauty that they forget about the love of God in me... it makes me sad, but it is a reality that I can not deny.
God has given me the ability to notice patterns in great detail. My mind never shuts off. Even if I will it, it does not listen. My mind has a "mind" of its' own. I guess you could say.
So, men always start out very excited to talk to me. They want to tell me their whole life story. They want me to understand that they are different than all the rest of the guys and that their promises they will actually keep... but as time goes on, not even days later I start to see patterns of the past.
1. They start out excited, They send texts saying "good morning", how is your day? Real romantic stuff.
2. They make an effort
3. All in love, google eyed
Then they start to recognize who God has called me to be. And they either do one of two things:
1. They run because they are too weak to handle the strength of God in me.
2. They distance themselves emotionally. Less care and concern for my life. No more cute text messages, no more romantic stuff.
