Welcome Home Love: Favorite Hobbies (1)

I am a writer. The majority of the time, I prefer writing instead of verbal communication. Why? Because most times when I speak people don't listen, so why waste my breath? If I write them a letter at least, I can get all my thoughts out of my head and from there the rest is up to them. If they read it, then cool. If not then, that's perfectly OKAY too. 

As long as it is out of my head, then I will sleep at night just fine. 

Reflection: Virginia (Life, Love and Christianity) (Part 2)

When you go from one extreme to the other, from not thinking that much about God to thinking and passionately sharing everything you know and learn about God with everyone who is willing to listen. 

You tend to look at yourself and everyone around you differently...

As I said in the first blog, this time last year I was praying to go home. The strange thing, that all my prayers did nothing because when God was ready for me to go home everything lined up perfectly... 

I tried to go home about fifteen different times, prior to actually leaving. 

So that is safe to say, you can pray all you want, but if what you ask for does not line up with the will of GOD, it will not happen. 

So, I learned to live realistically. No more hopeless romantic. No more giving people the benefit of the doubt. Everyone has an agenda. "Everyone lies."  

I use to think that if I loved enough, treated people with kindness and respect that good karma would always follow me. I made it my best effort to "live to be a blessing" only to have my love and efforts stepped on. 

So, if you ask me if I believe that a man and woman can love one another unconditionally. The answer is NO. Anytime you want someone to "be with you" you will always compromise some part of yourself to "keep" them. It is inevitable. 

When I became realistic about my walk with God, I started to feel more powerful. You see, in VA I had a lot of fun praising God. But I praised him from a fractured place. A place where, if I didn't focus my attention and time only on God I would have lost my mind. 

I use to be preachy the way most of the people I know are becoming. I use to tell people that God is so good. Well, since He is why don't you go find out just how GOOD GOD is? 

During that time, I tried to start a business that failed miserably. I started the business while I was in VA because I thought it would be a quick way to make enough money to pay my rent at the time. But, as soon as I started to get things going tragedy hit and the young man that introduced me to the business died of a blood clot to his heart. 

I never met the young man in real life, but we were pen pals since college. Always encouraging one another to be and do better in life. I never had a friend pass away. The fact that he was my friend opened my eyes to see just how cruel this world is. He left behind his little girl and a whole town of people who loved and respected him dearly. Bless his soul. He always tried to help when he could. 

He was an excellent listener.

Reflection: VA (Life, Love and Christianity) (Part 1)

Imagine if Mary Poppins was a warrior chick instead of a smiling, singing, umbrella flying nanny...

I'm not like Mary Poppins or Plain Jane.

This time last year, I was stuck in Virginia, praying that I would go home. It was one of the most traumatic experiences in my life. To be stuck somewhere, where you don't know anyone and where no one can give you the answers you seek. 

I reflect often because I never want to forget where I was, to where God has me now.

Maturity In Blogging

I'm at a point in my life, where "good enough" isn't enough. I want the best. I want better than the best. Sometimes I feel like North Carolina is holding me back from an entire world of mini adventures. I tried to break free from NC months ago, only to find myself in a worse prison than the one I had.

I live by what is realistic, yet nothing that has happen recently seems to make much sense. I will say that I’m brutally honest when it comes to staying true to a the nature of a situation, so I blog about the men that I like or have dated, depending on how they affected me.

If they were jerks, I talk about all their bad points. Some would think that's not right, "you shouldn’t talk about other people..." yet, the very people who say that, turn around and talk about someone else. So, if we are going to make a rule, let's all be included in it, shall we?

I was going to blog about the series of dates that this young man and I went on, but I decided that I was going to do things differently with this relationship. In the past I blogged about their good qualities, they read it and that overwhelmed them. Made them feel pressured; instead of appreciated, they spit in my face.

I spoke of their less pleasing traits and or circumstances surrounding me and instead of them saying something about it, other people had to write to me, to defend them on their behalf. Cowards. If that is one thing I can not stand, its a man who can't fight his own battles.

This young man certainly has come a long way, since we first hung out. He has always been very respectful. He opens all my doors. He treats me just like a princess. I love it. When we are together it is like a new adventure. There never seems to be enough time for us to spend together.

But, there is another side to Pretty:

Pretty, doesn't want to be trapped.

Pretty doesn't want to be some trophy on a mans' shelf collecting dust, because he got tired of keeping the mantel clean.

Pretty doesn't want to be the "clean up" woman having to pay for the aftermath of another womans' mistakes.