But then one night I was trying to go to sleep and my mind would not keep quiet. Words of wisdom, leapt from the edges of my mind. Dipping and diving into my spirit! It was a powerful and a scary feeling. Why am I so young, yet I know (see) so much? Just like an 80 year old woman trapped in the body of a 20 year old.
That is how I felt since I awoke from my "unconscious slumber" before I found truth and before I made up my mind that I was going to walk in Gods truth and his unconditional Love. No matter what.
I came close to be married twice. I lived with a man for awhile during my transition from high school to college but I always knew that something was "not right" with the situation nor him.
I reflected a lot on why God did not allow for us to get married. Each time we started planning, something would happen. We would get into an argument, have to spend the money that we were going to use for the wedding on emergencies, death in the family, getting sick etc. There were so many things. At the time I was not as self aware as I am now. So I did not realize that those were clear signs from God to say "WRONG WAY!" STOP NOW!
We never got married and I'm glad that we did not. I knew that it would not have been the best for me. After he and I separated he became a completely different person, anyway. When he was with me he talked about going to Church. He told me all about his dreams and how he wanted to change the world. But after we were no longer, his true colors showed. He was selfish, abusive, manipulative and he just didn't really care about helping other people that much.
Now that God picked me (a poor, needy, tired, weak person like me) out of the dirt and told me that I am beautiful. I understand things much better.
There is a difference between a man/woman of God
a man/woman of God who has the full mind of Christ.
A person can go to church every single day, talk about God all the time, sing in the choir, volunteer at the homeless shelter etc But how do they act behind closed doors? How do they deal with stressful situations? And do they retaliate when someone comes against them?
A man/woman of God who has the full mind of Christ, is Christ like. They are patient (they don't always wake up patient but they make sure to be aware and active in it throughout the day...).
They are (active) in being kind.
They are (active) in being loving.
They are (active) in being humble.
They teach other people how to walk in the mind of Christ too.
The big difference is that they act in those qualities no matter what situation they are in. When someone attacks their character, they fight back with kind words. When their spouse says something hateful or does something out of their character (negative spirits brought on by the devil can make you do that) they go to GOD, they get on their knees and pray. They put their spouse in the hands of GOD. And then they continue on with life. They continue to Seek God and pray until the situation is resolved.
Some people would say, "Its not that easy!"
But it is only as hard or as easy as YOU make the situation to be. What I learned is that the only person that you can control is YOU. And even when you try to manipulate another person into doing what YOU want them to do, they still are going to end up doing what THEY want to do.
People are fueled by selfish motivations. They can stare you in the face and tell you they love you but then stab you in the back the next minute, if it means that they are going to get ahead in life or gain something that they really want.
But those who have the mind of Christ. Think the way Christ did when he was on this earth. Wise. Humble. A joy to be around. Firm but gentle when sharing what God, the Father told him to tell the people. Patient.
Jesus(Yeshua) could have said, "nope, I'm not taking the beatings for any of you." He could have been selfish too. But he rose above that mediocrity(selfishness can be a form of mediocrity...) and he endured through all the pain; longsuffering.
The other thing is that when you think about marriage or enter into one, you should never step into one thinking that everything is going to be OH! SO! perfect! That he is going to be the perfect prince and she will the perfect princess!
That mindset will only bring grand disappointment, because no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes and falls short of the glory of God.
But when mistakes happen, that's why it is best for a married couple to pray together, all the time and wear the mind of Christ daily. So that they can walk in love and truth and have a connection to God and through that connection with God they will have a connection to one another.
I firmly believe that couples who don't have God first in the marriage, do not last very long. I have seen it in my own family. Divorce! Divorce! Divorce!
Why did they divorce? There were many reasons. But at the core of it, he just wasn't as devoted to his walk with Christ as she was (and still is) and on top of that she didn't wait to let God send her, her husband. She just picked the man that she thought she loved and did what most young folks do when they are looking for attention and affection in all the wrong places and people but they want that feeling of security to last: they get married.
It is very important that when you think about getting married, that your future wife/husband has the mind of Christ, so that way they will know how to treat you.
In having the mind of Christ you also have Gods unconditional love buried on the inside of you. So the love of God inside of you will recognize and receive love, but it will reject hate and bad motivations (as long as the gift of discernment is in full function).
If you don't have any connection with God you will miss these important details