Saturday, May 11, 2013

Boxing Ring of Intelligence: The Truth About Man

The thought of even wanting a boyfriend or any male affection is a form a form of mediocrity in my book. But because I'm not perfect and God is still healing me. I feel the need to talk about it.

If I were to have a boyfriend I would have to lower my intellect.

I don't think that most men are worth the time and hassle to even step into the ring of intelligence with me. I will rip their head off and eat their eyes for a snack.

The intelligence and wisdom that God gave me is powerful.

I have yet to meet a man who can stand in the ring of intelligence with me for longer than maybe 4 or 5 rounds. After about the 5th round they give up and declare they are tired or they get annoyed because they can't get me to agree with them.

If they are wrong. Why would I agree, just so they can feel good about themselves?

Also men lie too much for me.

They lie about simple things too. For example: If you don't want to hang out, why don't you just say I don't want to hang out. See how easy that is.

That way I can not waste my time on you and go find someone else to hang out with.

But the problem with men today that they are so afraid of looking like the "bad" guy. I would rather you just be honest than worry about looking like the "bad" guy.

Its saves me time. I don't want to waste any more time on losers.

Men think that they can appeal to my empathy, little do they know that I'm a "sweet ice queen" and I don't care about feelings when it comes to truth. I'm bluntly honest and I'm not biting my tongue for any man.

The other thing is that "nice guys" are only nice until they don't get their way. Then when they get their way they turn into the asshole. So really no man is a nice guy. They are all just assholes some just wear a full mask while others only wear a half of a mask.


In the past I thought that if I dated the "nice guys" that they would treat me better. But, even the nice guys decided that they wanted to mistreat me.

I find it so strange that when I see my exes now in my new life, they are treating their new gf or their wife like gold. They open her door and treat her like a lady. They are attentive and sensitive to her needs. They pull down the moon and the starts for her. Yet, when they were with me all they did was say one hateful thing after another. The interesting thing is that their new woman doesn't even seem to care if they are alive or dead. If they are with them or not. Its always the sluts that get treated like Queens and the Queens that get treated like sluts.

I made up my mind that I can't be with any man who doesn't have the mind of Christ. And seeks Gods truth and walking in Gods love. I also realized that just because a person is a man of God does not mean that he has the mind of Christ. A man that has the mind of Christ acts completely different. Is on a whole other level.

Most of my guy friends will get gfs at some point and when they do they will forget all about me. When those women cheat on them or break their heart they will find me and want to "hang out" again. But I have decided that I won't be available. Because I'm tired of being OLD FAITHFUL, sitting there waiting until he is done messing around for him to realize that I was the diamond that he dropped to pick up a pebble.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Thirsty Intellectuals: "Bible Thumper"

The worst thing for a guy is to be too eager when he meets me. It makes me want to run for the hills. I like for a man to have cool confidence, but I also need for him to be HONEST. That whole "put your best foot forward" is bullcrap and I no longer accept it. I use to "play the game." I use to let him blow my head up and compliment me to death, but I already know I'm beautiful so what's NEW in life?

I don't go out to the bars and clubs nearly as much as I use to, because I found that when you have a walk with Christ you can't go everywhere and do everything. Why? Because you are held to a higher standard. I am a QUEEN through Christ. I don't need to be associated with the peasants of the land. That may not sound "nice" but it is true. And those who I am calling "peasants" are not so because they are ugly or don't wear the "coolest" clothes. They are peasants because they allow mediocrity to hold them back from Greatness.

They live for the world and not for God. They praise other people and not GOD. They put their hope and trust into banks, stocks, cars, clothes, TV, movies, etc and not in GOD. Who do they think made the banks and stocks? God gave man the knowledge to create such systems. But man did not thank God for the knowledge because man got too use to receiving the praise from other people. Their pride started to grow and their egos started to swell... the fall of man will be due to pride among other things.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Diamond In Your Hand: See Me Through the Eyes of CHRIST

I am Love because the Love of God(YAHWEH) lives in me.

The Gift GOD Gave You: Diamond In Your Hand

When I talk to my guy friends and listen to them tell me all about their dating troubles and hardships...sometimes I get distracted by other things lol


Because, my guy friends always go for the slutbag, princess, or deceiver. But when they meet a woman of caliber they treat her like shit. So, I have turned off my sympathy to their situations.

I tell them all the time to be careful and to be vigilant, take their time. Don't just accept the first invitation given out. But they still choose to do what they want to do.

And then when they get hurt, stomped on and spit on somehow they find my ears and expect for my ears to give a shit.

Well, I don't... anymore. Some might think that is coming from a bitter place but that is actually coming from a "Let GOD handle" it place. I'm done talking. I will say what I have to say. Then I will let it be from here on out.

I have better things to do with my time than to try get them to see that GOD put a diamond in their hand that they should appreciate and take care of but instead they choose to pick up pebbles...

When they do that, they are saying with their actions that they don't care about the gift God gave them and that it is not good enough.

But I learned that when you don't appreciate the gift God gives you, not only will he take it away but he will always fix it so that either you will have trouble finding another diamond or that every time you think you found a diamond it really is a pebble.

I'm done with men not appreciating me.

That is to say that this friendship I have with my bestfriend is great at times, but mostly I know that he isn't fully aware of who I am and what I stand for. But I recognize that, and that is my own distress to myself. So I take full responsibility for the stress. I get bored and seek him out to entertain me. Deep down inside I know that I want him to ask me out, but he is steady picking up pebbles when GOD place me in his hand to be his diamond.

It is sad, but it is true and when I get tired of the one-sidedness I will move on because I deserve better. Not because I'm better than him or anyone else for that matter but because GOD deserves for me to treat this body(temple) better by being with a man that not only LOVES HIM but also recognizes the love and light of Christ in me.


Monday, May 6, 2013

Scientist vs. Model

I think modeling is fun. A person can learn a lot from the experiences that you get through meeting people in the modeling industry. But, a lot of young women are so hungry for fame, money and power that they miss the life lessons entirely. Then you have people who seem to be created for the sole purpose of selling you a dream in a hand basket. They don't care if you really make it or not as long they look good trying to get you to the top or as long they get some kind of reward out of the deal.


The people on your "team" those who manager your career or have anything to do with making you money are suppose to have your best interest at heart. But a lot of times they get sidetracked and want to mold you into the image that they conjured up in their mind of how you should be, what you should look like, and essentially who you should be.

I'm blessed enough to not have to deal with any of that, but when I first started modeling I certainly felt that pull. I certainly fell that I was betraying who I was. I wasn't comfortable in my skin when I first started. They wanted me to just take a pill and "magically" wake up feeling sexy and confident and free from inhibitions. But, that was the "Paris Hilton" mentality that all the girls seemed to fall in at the time.

God had other plans for me.

And after I decided that modeling wasn't where my heart was, I chose to sing. I took voice lessons and that's where I started building my confidence to sing in front of people.

I now look at everything I do as a confidence builder.

Even though I think modeling is fun, I think I would much rather be a scientist. IF there was a way that I could combine being a model and a scientist then I would because that way I could have the best of both worlds.

In being a scientist I'm free to use the gift of intelligence that God gave me. No one can mask it, nor mold me to fit their thoughts, unlike in modeling where if you don't wear the designers clothes or you can't fit in them then either you don't get to be in the show or you don't get to wear their outfit and you miss being in the scene. There is too much demand in modeling. To look a certain way and or to act a certain way.

And honestly I just want to say FUCK IT! I act and do what I want. If you don't like it kiss my ass. But in the modeling world you can't do that. Because as a model you need people to like you, so they will want to work with you. That's another reason why being a scientist is more appealing. I don't need anyone to like me nor think I'm cool nor beautiful. Heck! they don't even have to think that I'm smart. As long as I have facts to back up what I state and or consistent patterns of truth. My theory is valid and it say the potential to stick in the hearts of the minds of all who read my material or redo my study.

IF YOU are a man or THINK YOU ARE a man: Read this...

Dear Men Folk:
Be honest with yourself. You are never satisfied.

You can have everything your heart needs ("right in front of you") but you still want to know if the "grass is greener on the other side" Even if the other woman has a boyfriend/husband/lover/pimp/sugar daddy...

You have a perfectly good woman in your life, who will DO JUST about ANYTHING FOR YOU. But it is not enough because there is something in you that's lacking if you feel the need to "PISS" on/flirt with/chase after/thirst after etc every woman you see.

God blessed you with a beautiful woman in your life and all you can do is talk shit to her and belittle her efforts?!

Until you treat her with respect and love nothing good will be consistent in your life. Every time something good happens it will also be met with a terrible sorrow and or disappointment.

But before you can love any woman properly you must first know and walk in the Love of God.