See, I'm use to being the strong one. The one that people come to for help. The one that has all the answers and give the best advice. But, finally God has placed me in a position where I am solely dependent on him for direction and for strength.
He had to take away my "comfort" in order to refocus my attention, because I was putting way too much time into the wrong things. Yes, I am a hopeless romantic, but the only man that I need to be "hopefully" romantic with or in is in Jesus Christ, the son of the living God.
The truth is, I don't know why I am here. In this area. I know that God wants me here because I have had 4 different confirmations, but I'm not sure why. I pray that God will reveal my purpose here soon.
My life is not meant to get attached to people nor things, nor memories or even ideas. I am a free spirit. I go where the holy spirit guides me and I do what God has asked me to do. At this time God has asked me to love his people no matter what they are going through or what they do to me. I still need to love them.
I got through the struggle with my bestfriend. He and I had to figure out what role God needed each of us to play. And we found out, that God needed us to be bestfriends and just encourage one another in our walks with Christ. I am happy to say that our friendship is so much better and that God has strengthened the love of Christ in us enough to share it with one another.
It is true that I want to be a wife and mother one day. I want to have two boys. But, in order for me to get to that place I need stability. Not only physical but also spiritually. I have always said that two halves only equal a whole lotta mess and it could not be more true. If each party is not strong and confident in their walk with Christ, how can they know what real love is, when they see it? And how will they be able to maintain it? You have to keep God first in everything and all things, because the enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy. The enemy wants to tear down the love of God in us, so that we can't share it with other people. And we have to rebuke the enemy is lies, tricks and deceit in the name of Jesus Christ. And then keep it moving.
I have to admit there were some times when I thought I was losing my mind. My heart was so broken and I just couldn't figure it out. I don't know why I'm here. My family is all back in NC. And now, I'm single. But, God always provides. So, even though I'm single. I know that I'm not alone. I know that God will always send love my way. And that's what I need the most. Love. The love of God.
After, I took my focus off of wanting to maintain a relationship so bad, God opened doors for me to receive more ways to make money.
Those of you who know of word of prayer, pray that I receive financial stability in the name of Jesus. So I get that, then I will be able to do more stuff.
What I have to learn is the love of God in me, is greater than my fleshly desires and it needs to be shared to encourage my other brothers and sisters in Christ.