Most of the time when I'm around a group of people I'm quiet for a number of reasons, but one of those reasons is because I haven't learned how to speak (in love) constantly, the way most of the other members of the community have.
My mother was the only one to administer hugs and kisses and the whole thing about "let's talk about it." But after she passed away, I was forced to be my own mom, dad, brother, sister, friend and protector. I use to be very sweet. Very kind. Very loving. You asked me to do anything for you, not only would I do it but I would also go above and beyond to do extra because I knew that it would make you well pleased. A "people pleaser" is what I use to be. Until, "enough was enough." Then to go a step beyond that, until... I was re-introduced to God again.
I have grown to be the type of person where I just speak what is on my mind and I don't take into consideration how the other person might feel. "Bluntly honest." Became my new strength. After I realized that being "too nice" and "too sweet" and "too kind" did not seem to get me anywhere in the real world...
But, now that I'm here in good ol' Woodbridge Virginia (ready to go at anytime God, because I know there is more to life than this...) I'm being forced to have to learn how to speak to people in love.
It is something that I never thought I would have to be faced with, to be honest. I thought I could get away with hiding behind being "bluntly honest." But there is a difference as I have always said between being "cruel" and being "honest" and well I have learned both sides of the extremes now.
Being cruel is when you see me in Church, but then later on when you see me outside of church you say, "Oh, I didn't see you in church today..." Lies. How could you not. I was standing right in front of you.
Being honest is when, you say "oh, your breath stinks" Their breath does stink but, you could have said it more tactfully.
That's what I'm working on right now speaking more tactfully. Speaking in love.