Since When do Alpha Males Throw Tantrums? Get real!

Right now I'm in my flesh. I'm writing from my flesh and not from my spirit.
I'm so tired of meeting men who claim to be the "alpha male" then when things don't go their way they throw a tantrum. They revert to children. The whole time I'm sitting back like "wow and I thought you were the alpha male." Since when do alpha males give up when things get tough and throw tantrums. Men claim they want honesty and communication then they meet me and I'm honest, brutally honest and they can't handle it. So that makes you too weak. He was right, he is too weak for me. Had the look for an alpha male but the spirit of a coward. How does that work?

Instead of just being honest and opening their mouth and saying "When you say that or this it makes me feel uncomfortable please don't talk about that..." They storm off and attend a private pity party. So, you are suppose to be the father of my children? So, you are suppose to be the man that I share my body with and have children with and you can't even look me in the eyes and talk to me? So much for your communication.

And yet, you expect for God to bless you with a wife and children (your own child) when you act like that. Why would God give you one of his most precious jewels to protect when you can't even control your temper? It doesn't matter what was said or did, the point is are you strong enough to look past it and move on with life? Are you going to hold a grudge forever and waste time on being mad, instead of loving and caring about me like you so genuinely stated when everything was going great and flowing the way you wanted it to?

How are you the alpha male when you just give up on people like that? No wonder you are stuck at the same job doing the same thing, because you aren't ready to be a leader. No wonder, you work so hard and bust your ass for nothing because you are not ready to be a leader. It is about attitude. It is about being committed to fighting for the good of the whole and not just yourself. If, you can easily walk away when we are one little fight, I just image how much worse it would be after we had children. I guess, its a good thing that I didn't marry you, because you would have left my ass pregnant with two kids and not knowing what to do because your a coward. No wonder your loved one was taken away because you were not and are not in a position to take care of them anyway. So much for alpha male. Protector my ass.

I was woman enough to admit that I did not speak in love, but even after you yelled at me and said all those hateful things I still didn't give up on you. I still sat there and wanted to talk about it. The messed up thing is that you lied. Now I know that you are a liar and that's one of things I don't put up with a liar and a COWARD.

So, yeah, if you die an old man guess you will know why.

I stayed true to what I said about caring, but I guess that was not enough. That's why I don't give men the time of day, because they all lie, stab you in the back, abandon you, step all over your kindness, throw tantrums then runaway. I HATE MEN! I hate their stupid selfish attitudes. Walking around thinking they own everything. I HATE MEN! Every time a man looks my direction I get UPSET. What are you looking at? Don't even think about talking to me because I don't want to hear it. No good for nothing bum ass loser. Every guy I ever meet is a loser. I keep trying to go for the nice guys because maybe there is "LOVE" there, but NOPE still selfish. How are you 36 years old and you have the maturity of a 15 year old. GET REAL? We had an argument big deal, but you are still butt hurt over it? OH MY GOSH! I'm so done! OLD, YOUNG, BLACK or WHITE it doesn't matter. They are all the same.
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Realistic Fairy-tale Wedding, Marriage and Life

I want to be with a man who, when I run to him because I need help he says, "baby I'll take care of it." I want my husband to be so rooted in God that the second I step into the room he can tell if I'm in the right spirit or not. I want to look into his eyes and see more than just lust. I see depth, passion, life, joy, hope, strength. When I'm in his arms I want to fall asleep knowing that I'm protected and safe. I want him to be thoughtful, have a heart of compassion for others. I want him to be romantic (not every day of course lol let's be realistic but during those moments when I'm feel particularly needy that's when he needs to come up with something creative to remind me that I'm loved. 

It is very hard to have a life where you don't have any immediate family around you. And yes, there is the church family but at night they go home to their immediate families and I go home alone. Even, the lady I live with I'm very thankful for her life and for allowing me to stay here. 
But I hear her children and grand daughter playing, laughing and talking throughout the house and it makes me sad a little bit in my spirit. That's the one thing that I have always wanted ever since I lost my mother was a family. My own family. I love to love Gods people and when I don't have anyone around to share all this love with, it makes me feel useless and disconnected from God.