Birds of a Feather Flock Together: Responsibility and Accountability

If you hang around potheads, alcoholics, crack heads, thieves, liars what does that say about your character? 

Birds of a feather flock together, right? 

Now, people with those afflictions are not necessarily "bad" they are though associated with destructive behaviors and or paths that could get them or someone else into trouble or even killed. Whether we are aware of it or not we affect the lives of other daily, with how we think, act and conduct ourselves as human beings. That's why it is important to "be the change you wish to see." 

Also, if you don't have a strong independent spirit and or lack self confidence you can and will be easily manipulated, tricked and used. You never want to be "at the mercy of the tiger." You want to be in a position where you have the option to walk away from a situation that is not helping you to be better and do better for yourself. The worst thing you can do is  tie yourself into an agreement with someone who is irresponsible, because if they don't pay their portion of the bills then you will be held accountable for theirs and yours. 

And that's not fair to you. Unless you grow a backbone and hold them accountable for their portion of the bills, they will always expect you to take care of everything for them. That's why I'd rather not do a roommate situation, but if I absolutely had to I would get everything in writing. One day you and your roommate are friends and the next day they are getting mad and throwing a tantrum over something stupid and screaming they will leave and "break the lease." Go ahead and break the lease, it will affect your credit not mine. I'll just find another roommate. Any roommate who gets so mad that they would put their own stability in jeopardy can not be trusted to help you maintain yours, if you ever found yourself an unlikely financial situation.  

I often learn the whole lesson, then I pick and choose which parts of the lesson go best with where I am at in life. 

Here are two lessons: responsibility and accountability. From here on out I only want to associate with people who are responsible, understanding, mature and professional. 

Being responsible means "I really want those pair of shoes, but I know that I need the money to pay my bills on time. So, I'll wait until I save up the extra money..." But people aren't like that nowadays. They think they can cheat the game and get away with it. But as long we keep play the, "I need money" game we will never be truly free. 

Stop Apologizing For Being Beautiful

I have not written in awhile. I have been busy with interviews and auditions. I refuse to sit back and waste my life talking about my dreams instead of making my dreams come true.

I spent too much waiting for other people to give me permission to tap into my own strength and abilities. I believed that they knew better than myself about myself. I believed they were wise and maybe for that season they were wise but I once again out grew them...

I'm always out growing people. When others are on level one I'm already on level five, for example.

Maturity is difficult to walk in because sometimes it requires you to "think before you speak" and wisely react to unexpected situations, among other things all at the same time. But, it also requires that you walk in confidence too. Something that I never thought I could do.

For example, I'm aware that people think that I am beautiful. But, I use to apologize for being beautiful because I heard things like... "Oh, she thinks she is all that?" "Oh, she is stuck up!" "oh, she is a snob!" Why do you consider me a snob? You have yet to speak to me and you know nothing about me, yet you assume that because I like to dress up and look nice for myself that I'm a snob? Well... guess what that sounds like a personal problem.

I'm no longer going to apologize for being beautiful. 

I'm no longer going to stop dressing up, wearing makeup, singing bold and loud, wearing high heels and standing up for myself because other people are not confident in their own skin to hang out with me and or be around me. I'm no longer going to sit quietly in the corner watching other people live their lives to the fullest while I'm driving myself crazy trying to figure out how I can make other people like me or "feel comfortable" around me. If you don't feel comfortable that sounds like a personal problem. I am who I am. Big Personality and All. 

If my beauty intimidates you then you are the one with the insecurity and you should seek God so He can help you find peace with the beauty you were given.  The End. With Love. 

The Glamorous Life: On The Backs of Broken Dreamers

How wonderful would it be if you were first, instead of last. If when you walked into any restaurant, boutique, car lot etc you were waited on "hand and foot." A world where you never heard NO unless it was in reference to unfavorable situation or person that could harm your life. How amazing would it be, to never have to worry about where your next meal would come from or how you would pay your bills. How awesome would it be if you saw instant results lifestyle changing results after a day? How would you feel if everywhere you went people knew your name? VIP everywhere you go, everything is on the house because you are a celebrity.

How awesome would it be if you could shut down a whole street, city, nation in your honor? Where people saw the sight of you and they celebrated not only because of you but also because of all the accomplishments you made? Where someone actually cared about what you said, did or even thought about. How awesome would it be if you were rich, famous and live a glamour, luxurious life. Where you had everything you needed and wanted at your finger tips? How wonderful would it be if you were first, instead of last. If when you walked into any restaurant, boutique, car lot etc you were waited on "hand and foot."

Established Rules: Single and Never Been Married

As the Queen Through Christ I am a aware of a few things:
1. Is that my life is not my own.
2. That I have a lot of work to do for the kingdom of God. 

Epic Journey: Walking In Your Identity

I tried to be "bad" I tried to be "loud." But bad leads to unneeded soul-ties. It felt like a weight on my soul keeping me from going to the next level. I tried to remain "average" "normal" "regular" so that men would like me. So that the guy I was crushing on, dated, liked or however you want to describe it would stay in my life. 

I tried to be "normal" and "indifferent" and "complacent" so that he wouldn't SEE ME because once he realized who I was, I knew that he would leave. Once he realized that I am a Queen through Christ and that I recognize my self worth, they always leave. 

I ask them to rise to my level. To stand with me in greatness through Christ Jesus. I ask them to battle against mediocrity with me. I ask me to fight against injustice. I ask them if they would take the sunglasses from their face and walk in truth, love and peace with me but all I hear is silence and then I see their back turned toward me. 

When a man comes into my life and "gives up" on me, essentially he says that he is 1. not ready to live a life of greatness and 2. that is he not ready to be a king through Christ and 3. that he is not confident enough in God.

I can not change a joker into a king. They must accept and understand their self worth. They must know that just as Jesus Christ died on the cross for me, he also died for them too. 
It hurts me to see a king, be degraded by this world and fall into a mental trap of the world. See, I know who I am through Christ Jesus. I know that I am the daughter of the most High King, but chose to take a "break" or go on vacation from my position of being a leader. I didn't walk away from God. I never could. I never can. I just needed time for me, to rest, recuperate, relax, before moving on in the journey.

I had some side projects that I started, in which I wanted to be dedicated too. I know that my life is not my own. I know that I am a reflect of the love of God. I know that I am mad to be an extension of the love of God, the peace of God, the strength of God. The problem is just because I am aware of that, does not mean that I know how to WALK in that awareness.

Spiritual Journey Two: Home Away From Home

I'm a writer. When something is on my heart, it is on my heart heavy and I have to write in order to relieve my heart of that heaviness. I don't sugarcoat the truth for anyone and I don't expect people do that for me either. 

Somewhere I Belong: Something To live For (Week 3 day 2)

Sometimes when the tears are on the brink of falling, yet they do not, the only thing you can do is write. There are moments when I'm tempted to do something etremely out of my character and random just to get out of this "hole" that I'm in. But I know that if I open that door. There is a chance that God could take his hands off of me and I will no longer be under his protection. Right now, I'm not where I want to be. I need a job that pays all my bills and some, I need a new car and I need a house. Yet, even though I don't want those things right now I feel safe with all the new faces that I met. They don't know me very well, but they still extend their kindness. 

Gods Love in You and Other People: Appreciation(perspective 2)

It was put in my spirit to re-write about this experience in the spirit and not the flesh. The first time I touched on this topic I was writing from a very emotional place. Not an objective one. But after sometime of reflecting and much needed changes I can finally share this part of my testimony....

I'm reflecting on this now, because over the weekend I observed a few things that broke my heart. 

1. Why would you mistreat a man that is taking care of you, who loves you, who respects you and who wants to see you do good in life?

It is hard enough as it is, to meet a half way decent man and then when most women finally get one, they rip his heart out and step all over the love of God in him. 

That's partly why a lot of the Christian young men don't want to be associated with christian women, in my opinion. Because that woman is not living a holy virtuous life. She is not speaking with kindness, she is not showing unconditional love, yet she claims to be a christian which is suppose to represent Christ. That means she is a hypocrite.

I know, because I found myself in that boat at one point in my life. I said I loved God, but my actions did not reflect it. But it wasn't until I saw my situation rise up in someone else's life that it made me reflect it back into my own.... 

Willfulness & Self Control: The Greatest Gift Given to Us

Is Gods love

Each person, has Gods love in them. Whether they access that love is a part of free will.

When you tap into that Love, you also have access to others who love the way you do.

The gift is powerful.

The love is great.

The connection is wrapped in Gods peace.

That no man, situation, lust of flesh can break. 

This body is not our own. We are only borrowing it while we are earth. The biggest problem I faced in the past is that I wanted to act in my own will and not Gods. During the times when I did, God showed me is wrath and also his grace. Yet, even when I went through because of disobedience God still showed that he loved me, by maintain a peace through the situation. 

God is everywhere, so pray everywhere. 

The one thing that I discovered is that self control is a huge issue, and it comes right before lust. How do you step into the burning lava of lust? By having lack of self control. Well what if there was a way that you could avoid that all together, by being so wrapped in Gods plans for your life and wrapped in Gods love that you do not even have the desire to lust, to steal? etc

The things that God puts in front of us do not necessarily belong to us, sometimes they are gifts that God gives to us, but tells us that we can only look at but not touch. Why can't we touch them? Because God knows that, there are times when our flesh gets weak and he does not want to taint the gift with our fleshly fingerprints. 

The one thing that I wanted them to understand is not to love me, Jalysa. But love, the love of God in me. Not possess it. Not try to control it. Not try to beat it down. Just simply care, appreciate and love. 

I feel hurt when people don't recognize Gods love in me, because that means that they don't keep God on their mind often. I have watched the changed. I have seen us grow. And the truth is: Prayer works. Yes! Yes! Yes! Praying in the right spirit gets your prayers answered. 

I do believe that God is molding me to be a wife someday, but I do not know who I will have to submit to. That is one of the biggest things that I face because I would like and hope that God makes it so that I submit to a man that is Strong in faith. 

On another note: 

People think that comfort is something that is owed to them. But even comfort is a gift from God. When we act spoiled, entitled we diminish the gifts that God give to us and what makes it even worse is that when God does give us those gifts we also do not treat them very well. For example, why would your parents give you a brand new car, if they knew that you did not take of the last one very well? 

Honesty and the "Good Man" (What does he look like?)

I don't know what a "real man" looks like. I have an idea of what could be like though. I'm reflecting on this now because recently I have turned off two guys who claimed that they either wanted me to give them a chance or that they flat out had feelings for me.

I did not know what to do about that...

The truth is, that I'm a writer. It does not matter what the topic is, if the topic is strong on my heart then I'm going to write about it. I'm also going to write about it over and over and over until I feel at peace with whatever conclusion was presented to me afterward.

The writer in me is one of the parts that men don't like about me. They don't like it because there are times when I will write about them and expose them for who and what spirit is really on them at the time.

But in order for me to write about you, you have to really have impacted my life in some way. I don't just write about any ol' body...

Anyway... what I discovered is that I have never met a "real" or "good" man. I did not grow up with any positive male role models in my life, so I spent my time trying to figure out what a "real man" looked, sounded and acted like.

SO, what is a good man? What does one look and act like?

 



One thing is that a good man (a man worth the effort to be with) is honest, not only with himself but with other people. Even if that honesty hurts at times, he still shares it or received it because he knows that it pushes him closer to truth and thus closer to God.

I have more of an idea than I had five years ago. Also a good man doesn't want to throw things at nor hit me...



On top of that most of my experiences with males have been extremely negative. Abusive, so abusive like you wouldn't believe! So, I'm cautious when any man wants to "get to know me..." because that's how it started out in the past....

I'm asking God to clean me up, so that I don't run away men who are indeed good and have loving hearts the way I do. As I said before I recently lost two gentlemen who were particular interested in "getting to know me" because my force field/chain fence etc was too high for them to climb. They got frustrated because I would not be the "sweet" lady that they expected me to be. That's another reason why I tell people not to have any expectations whether about me or anyone because people change every single day.

And God is cleaning me up very quickly, for what exact purpose I am not sure. But soon, I will know...

Right now I'm at point in my life where I just want to be single, hanging out, meet new faces, drink, make money and dance.

If, God sent a man, that claimed he wanted to be with me I would have to pray about it extensively. But since I have yet to meet any man who can not only climb the wall of my intelligence, get past the forced field and still be a "nice guy" after it all. Then I don't really think much about it.

Just because I have an independent spirit and love doing my own thing does not mean I don't get lonely. I do miss being in a relationship. But like I said before the problem is getting started. Any man that is with me is going to have to be strong because I am on the battlefield in defense of Gods unconditional love, whether I want to always walk in that acceptance or not... it remains true.

DC Trip: National Harbor (Day 2)

Saturday June 23 2013 (Day 2):

I am not really sure why God gave me this opportunity. Maybe he just wanted me to get out of NC for awhile, so that I could regroup and think. Maybe there is a lesson that I need to learn here.

I'm not sure what it is, to be honest....

Today I went out to National Harbor. The best way to describe it is like a strip of outlets next to a body of a water. They had a live classical orchestra playing outside. It was warm. People were dressed in all kinds of sandals and shorts.

Then there was me, dressed in my gothic attire. One guy, who was very cute, look in my direction. Then quickly looked away. He was either shy or I scared the boots off him lol

It was extremely peaceful outside. This area isn't really known for clubs, just their bars. So many different bars. One of them even has a mechanical bull.

This area is like downtown Raleigh except, next to a body of water and a lot more upscale. It is like people actually give a damn about how things look around here.

We ended up at a pizzeria spot. We sat at the bar. We flirted with the bartenders. One was really cute. He had the most handsome light greenish eyes. I have never seen eyes that gorgeous (natural!) on a black man before. We even got a round of free drinks and a desert (see what a little smile can get you sometimes haha).

I had a lot of fun.

I was pretty tired when we got in too. I like going out and then coming back and being exhausted that way I don't have to think so much before I try to go to sleep. It is the worst feeling in the world to stay up until like 6am trying to force your mind to hush up long enough for you to go to sleep. That's another reason why I write. It quiets my mind somewhat....

The sheep life: Not Your typical Model

The following statements below are reoccurring thoughts about modeling, fashion and music.