I know who I am through Christ... A queen. Until he seems himself as a king through Christ.
Then we are not on the same level.
This transformation that God is taking me through is wonderful. Many guys are baffled by it, so they try to come up with reasons why they don't like me, just so they can cover up that they are really jealous that my anointing out shines theirs. It is very evident that if he had the opportunity to gain attention the way I do, but don't often acknowledge, that he wouldn't be the same person.
Also, like I said before in another blog I was married in the "spirit" a few months ago. I remember them saying, "this feels like a marriage" when they pissed off at me for trying to understand something that they said.
A lot of men get it twisted. You can't act like a dickhole on purpose and think that you are going to get away with treating me that way. You can't stomp your feet and expect for me to still come when you call.
Unlike most women I know that my husband needs to find me and not the other way around. So, when I'm ready to have him FIND ME, then I will let myself BE SEEN aka (take down my force field of intelligence and show him my heart). The other thing is I'm not going to be dumb enough to marry the first Guy that shows interest either. I'm going to SEEK GOD first and ask him to send me confirmation. If he is the one or not. And if he is, great.
Also when my husband I get into arguments I'm going to SEEK GOD and ask him to fix it according to his order and will for our life together. That is not to say that everything will always be perfect and happy go lucky. NO marriage can be a big test of your faith. But if you go in with your mind filled with the love and light of Christ. And ask GOD to send his comforter, the holy spirit. Then you will have one unstoppable guide. Also when you work out off the WILL of GOD, and GOD has sent you all the CLEAR SIGNS that he/she is not your husband. You only have yourself to blame for the chaos and destruction that emerges through your disobedience. I'm not going to pity anyone when they are blatantly disobedient to the will of GOD.
Because last time I was in love. I nearly had a heart attack. I felt their sin creep into my veins and poison me. They didn't care. And through their indifference they were killing me.... Any man that tries to kill me, tries to rob me of the strength that you GOD put inside of my heart for my protection or belittles the intelligence and mocks the wisdom that you put in my mind to know and share. Does not love you, because he doesn't appreciate the gifts that you put inside of me.
Also I was engaged twice and I even lived with a man for awhile, so I had everything but the title and the ring. But, I do humble myself enough to hear advice from those who were offered the full package of marriage. There are always lessons to be learned that can also pertain to other areas of your life.