Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Yahweh Shalom Move me: Men Who Are After The Heart That Belongs to GOD
My grandmother (bless her heart. I love her so much) tells me that I should be sweet, so I can get a "boyfriend."
Guess they still call them that these days. I have been living in a cave for the last 6 months so I wouldn't really know....
But, I don't agree. Because that would be lying. I have seen it happen so many times. The guy falls for the "nice SWEET" girl and then after they get together or get married she turns "aggressive." No, I would rather show my UGLY FOOT first, so they can know what they are getting into. Because I am a handful. I am independent. I don't like men to tell me what to do. I'm bluntly honest. I'm always sweet. I'm not always nice. I don't always care. BUT when I DO CARE, WHEN I AM SWEET and NICE its peaceful and wonderful. The birds tap dance and the clouds sing! Unfortunately, that NICE side does not get appreciated by said men folk. So I have to turn it off.
My life is about to change for the better I can feel it. God knows that I'm bored sitting in this apartment all day. But I have to be patient. I believe that he has me sitting here because he is taking his time perfecting molding setting things up, so that when I finally continue on my journey( after resting for so long) that everything will be in HIS perfect order.
On another note: I can't lie and say that I don't want a boyfriend or a companion to share my heart with. I do, but I don't want my next relationship to start off with any lie. That's why I show any potential mate my ugly foot first, so that way they can know if my flaws are something they can deal with. I have grown out of that fairy tale princess mentality. That is what that is... when the guy is the perfect gentlemen and the girl is sweet, kind and DAINTY. It irks my nerves when men assume that I'm just so suppose to be SWEET to them because they give me attention. UH OH! You have to earn my sweetness. I'm not just going to GIVE IT to you because you are a nice guy! I mean I did that in the past and all it did was get my heart stepped all over and the more I was NICE the more hateful and cruel they were to me. So no, sorry, I'll pass on that one.
It is like when men see me then instantly want to control, possess me and mold me into their ex wife or gf. I have liked guys in the past, but the second they start talking about their ex wife or gf. I lose interest because anything after (with regards to me) means that they are looking for a SUBSTITUE for their loneliness and pain. I refuse to be a placeholder chick for another woman.
"OH! Just keep my man warm and happy... he won't ever love you like he loves me, but at least he can hold you so you don't feel lonely nor needy for male affection until I (the one he really loves and cares about and would do anything for) comes back. Hope you have fun while it lasts (the fantasy) because when I come back you won't even be a dot in his memory. Toodles!"
Yeah, that is a little DRAMATIC but that's how it seems to play out in my life so many times before. I had to give my heart to Jesus Christ or I would have "died." It was one of the best choices I made on all my time on this planet, so far.