Sunday, June 9, 2013

Walk In Gods Complete Truth, Love and Peace

I'm not perfect. God is still working on me...

I always tell guys that, if they aren't going to live right and do right by me to leave me alone... because WOE! to the man who breaks this heart that does not belong to me, but belongs to God...

But they never listen...

It has always been that whenever a guy broke my heart that the following days something bad would happen to him. Whether it was going to happen anyway is the third variable that I have yet to figure out. But if it was going to happen some time in his life, once he broke my heart he invited the pain to enter into his life a lot faster than he expected.

I also tell guys that I'm very honest. I have asked God to help me work on being more subtle in honesty, but like everything else it is a process.

They never believe me, of course, then when I give them honesty they get defensive and feel offended. That's why people need to be very specific in what they ask God for.

I asked God that in his time to bless me with a gentle, respectfully honest husband, because I know that blunt raw honesty that is detached from human emotion is not really who I am at the core.

I guess you could say that in trying to heal from my past pain, that blunt/raw/detached honesty became somewhat like a shield from all the men who hurt me, spit on me, called me names and stepped all over the loving heart that God gave me.

The strange thing is that when men see me, they instantly want to possess me or somehow get angry at me for no reason. That's how I know that I'm dealing with a spirit on them. Those who know about spiritual warfare know exactly what I'm talking about...

How can you meet someone, and just hate them for no reason without even speaking to them or interacting with them at all? I always say that it is not that they hate me as person, but they hate that Gods love lives in me. Any man who hates the light and love of God in me is of the devil and those are the type of men that I aggressively spiritually "fight" against and physically ignore or stand up to. 

The truth is...

I enjoy being in a relationship, but not very men are strong enough to walk on this path of complete truth and love. See, because sometimes the truth is ugly, raw, gritty. Sometimes the truth does not always bend in my favor. But even when it does not I still embrace it and learn from it and then I move on with my life.

That's why I say that I have more respect for an honest "asshole" than a lying "nice" guy.


I would like to be a wife and mother, but I want to follow in the path that God has for me. I want to walk in Gods truth, love and complete peace.

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