When I started my trip to "DC" I had it in my mind that I was going to get a job and work, but God had other plans for me. I'm moving into an interesting transition. One from being a Queen to a Priestess. Some people might think that you have to have all these degrees and qualifications and documents saying that you can be one thing or another. But who Created me and you? God did. And so if God sees fit that I am too walk the life of a priestess then so be it...
I don't have all the technicalities down. But I do know one thing that to walk in Gods truth and in his perfect Love is the greatest honor and gift that any people could ever know. It frees you from all forms of mediocrity and it offers strength where you are weakest.
I left NC with the mind of a little girl. I was afraid to see. I was afraid to try. I was afraid to think beyond the box that I found myself limited too. But I came back with strength in my heart and the ability to walk in Gods truth, love and perfect peace. And I don't have to be labeled as "perfect" to do any of those things...
I was trying so hard to be perfect in my walk with Christ. To never sin. To never doubt. To never get upset. I found myself stressed out more by NOT allowing my human emotions to emerge than by letting them. I was limiting myself from "living" because I was trying so hard to be the perfect Christian. The perfect model. The perfect singer. But in the eyes of God I am already perfect.
I thought my job on this earth was to tell people the truth. But it is more than just that; not only do I tell them the truth but I also need to encourage them to walk in Gods truth, in Gods love and in Gods peace. When you are clothed in Gods peace you have power.
When things come your way that you do not understand. You ask God to deal with it according to his perfect Will for your life and watch how he reveals to you the answers that you seek.
I found out that I do not have to be perfect in order to be a warrior for Gods love. In being perfect I can not relate to the people. Jesus was sent to teach. He was perfect. That is why he is remembered and his teachings are reverenced and remember. I am a solider in Gods army. I was created to identify with the hopeless, the broken, the miserable and to show them that there is another life, through Christ Jesus that can free them from their sorrow. Their pains. Their worries and doubts.
It is not a life that I recommend for everyone, because it is costly and you feel a lot. But, I know that I know that I know. That God gave me a big heart for a reason and he gave me a beastly intelligence so that I could do what I do best love his people. Those who are extremely witty and cunning. Love them. Those who are a little slow. Love them. And those who have no clue what is going on. Love them. Show them that there is a better way to live life.
I will say that just because I came to this conclusion and reflection does not mean that I am perfect. I make mistakes too. But when I do I immediately genuinely repent and then I do not dwell on it. The enemy wants you to dwell on your sin. But why do that, when God has already forgiven you for it after you have repented?
You don't have to dwell on pain, because doing so holds you back from the Greatness that God has for your life.
It is not about being right or wrong. It is not about being the greatness. For, I am not great on my own. But it is about Sharing love. And guiding Gods people back to his love. That is all that matters. Yes, I need my own place to live and yes I need a newer car. Yes I need a job that pays all my bills. But those things are temporary highs and when I die I can not take them with me...
So what is left?
What really matters?
Gods peace, truth and love.