Thursday, August 15, 2013

Spiritual Journey: Week Two (Day 4): Reflection of Day 3 *All the pieces but One*

It is cold in here. I don't like to be cold. Yet, I don't like to be hot either. I guess I like to be warm. I guess, that makes me an odd ball. Also, at this point I feel like God has given me all the pieces except one. There is one piece to the puzzle that will set everything in motion and make this entire situation flow in order. I have to figure out what it is because I know that once I do, it will not only help me but also really help those that I am connected to.

                                            Reflection of the first week
The first week of the spiritual journey number two was dedicated to getting to know everyone. I felt unrealistically shy. It reminded me of the first day of my freshman year in college. The students walking around not knowing who to go to for help, who they could trust. You find that all of that changes by the end of the year. The nervous face of the wander now is confident. What an interesting transformation.
 I had three interviews. The first working at daycare. The only problem was that I would be working with the three year old group. It was not that I was opposed to it, but it was that I wanted to be honest. I'm here to find the best fit (where God wants me to be). I know what I am capable of doing and not doing, afterall I self reflect more often than I sleep. I analyze everything.

The second interview was for a receptionist position. It would have given me more freedom, but less responsibility because all I had to do was organize data sheets and keep up with the invoices. The only issue is that, the office is in this gentleman's house. I did not tap into my gift of discernment prior to entering his house for the "interview" but I did not get a "old man creeper" vibe from him either. I was hoping that, that job would be the one even if it was part time. I could make my own hours and work at my leisure. I could do work in the office or on the beautiful deck. But, I was too dressed up for the "interview." The second I saw him come to the door with sneakers, jeans and a t-shirt I knew that it wouldn't be the best option. *sigh* 

So onward we go....

The third interview did not require me to dress up either. When I think of interview I think of "dress up and look presentable" but apparently there different standards for different fields. So, that is where my issue rests...

I'm not really sure what "field" I want to go into. I know that I like to work with children, but I'm not too sure if I could work with them every day for a whole year. I never had to do that before. 
I know that I like to type. I'm good at organizing and I like to dress up, so naturally office work would be the most ideal job. 

There are so many options in me being here that I'm afraid to make the wrong choice. But I know that I can't just sit here. I know that this is a faith based journey because everything that has happen so far has been out of the "normal." I know that God does not want me stuck in a restaurant though. If, that was the case then he would not have opened the door for me to be here. 

This is the first time I have ever been in a situation like this. Where everything worked out. Each person I met on this journey is understanding and patient with me. To the outside world (those without spiritual eyes) they would question why I'm young, healthy, educated and not working. But those with spiritual eyes, know that God does not just want me at any job, he wants to place me at the right job. I just have to find the right door and he will open it for me, help me walk through it and guide the entire way

I gave up everything to be here. God told me to give up control (aka my car) and I sold it. It has not been easy spiritually, because even when I'm trying to find jobs and set up interviews the enemy is constantly trying to distract me from my goal. I'm here to find a job. I'm here to work. I'm here to start my life. I'm here to get my life in order. 

Even my natural tendency to care about another person's life more than my own had to be put on a shelf for awhile, because how can I help anyone else, if I don't first help myself? In order for me to help someone else get out of the "hole" I must first be in a position to lift them up out of it. So that is what I'm here to do...

Week Two (Day 4): Reflection of Day 3

The interview I had yesterday went smooth, although I knew that something was different when several other ladies were scheduled for my same time. The job is commission based, but there are bonuses and there is a base day, just in case you don't sell the requested amount by a certain date. 

This is the third time since I start my spiritual journey that it has been mentioned for me to be a sales lady. The first was for my Mary Kay, then my friend introduced me to a company for sales and now this. I know that there is more to the story. It could be that God wants me to use that job, in order to step into a position of leadership. You know, be a manager or supervisor one day. But, I'm not sure. 

I was excited when she extended the offer to me, but I'm trying to be considerate of my boyfriends time and his schedule. He would be the one driving me, since I don't have a car right now. He is so helpful. There were days when I was worried, because I was not getting any responses from potential employers as fast as I would have liked. But, my boyfriend encouraged me to not give up. He also encouraged me to pray and stay in church. At one point I told him I wasn't going to go (you know the flesh is unruly) and he firmly but gently told me that I was going. I'm glad that I did, because I got to meet his bestfriends little girl. And wow, my life has not been the same ever since! 

The truth is, that my grandmother is not getting any younger and before God calls her home. I want her to see me successful in a career and at least married. She is my rock, even in this situation and although she did not want me to leave did not feel uneasy about me coming up here to find work. So, even if I wanted to I can't give up. I know that God has a ram in the bush. I just want to be patient and wait for God to finish handling business.             

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