Queen Through Christ: Ministry? Love? Runway?

Here is what I'm learning:

Treat people the way you want to be treated.

(Very easy, but some people have the hardest time with it. I know that I did for awhile. Until I started to put myself in the shoes of others and God began to deal with my heart and humble my spirit...)

You never know what situation God will put you in, so right now you might be in a position where someone needs your help and if you turn them away or help them with a bad attitude you will push back your blessings. 

I always tell people to watch how they treat me, but they don't listen then when bad things happen they can't figure out why or they can't figure out why the door hasn't been opened for them to move on in life. 

Just DON'T mistreat me. I'm asking people to cater to my ego or kiss my feet. I'm just asking for one heart to another to just show love. 

But, if you mistreat people you never know who later in life you will need. God can fix turn anyway situation. So, right now I'm dependent on someone to help me get to work. But you never know, this week God can turn that all around where they may be the one needing me. And you are probably rolling your eyes, but don't underestimate my God. He is awesome, almighty king of kings and lord of lords. Author and finisher.
     


My life is blessed even though I did not expect to be in this current living situation that long. I thought I would immediately start working, but God had other plans. 

This is my second spiritual journey and I have to say that it has been the most difficult at times. 

I have met a lot of awesome young women and men of God, who are just so supportive and encouraging. The married couple that I'm staying with is so patient and understanding. I know I'm a "handful" but they are still so sweet to me anyway. I get to praise God all I want here and I ask questions about the bible without feeling bad for having to. I'm happy with everything else and with everyone else... except for the disconnect. I miss feeling the love. The silly moments. The jokes. Taking pictures. Hanging out. We were friends and I was happy with that. What do you think a "boyfriend is?" A Boy that is a friend. That you enjoy spending time with. But, when you no longer like to spend extra time with them that's when they just want to be "friends." I take my friendships very seriously. 

I don't have very many people that I call friend to begin with. So, for me to call them friend means something special to me. Yet, it hurts when I don't mean that much to them. That's why it is time for me to go. I can't stay in a place where there is no love. Where each day, the one person that I want love from the most is annoyed and frustrated by me. The love of God in me in strong and when there is no love my spirit dies...

I'm in transition right now. I want to stay, because I have a job working with children. I feel like I'm so close to establishing a new life here where I can finally be on my own, but in the safety of Christian community where just in case I needed guidance I would have plenty of people around to help. 

But... 

My heart. 

I took the hurt from the unexpected situation and turned it into a bold passion and strong praise for God. I'm still hurt and slightly confused about why they chose to break up with me right in the middle of one of the most critical points in my life. But, God has a reason for everything. I may not understand now but I will later. 

What I'm learning and understanding about myself is that naturally I'm a strong woman. God gave me a strong heart. Most men know that when they show interest in me they have to come correct or I will put them in their place. In love of course ;)

I'm ready to move on with my life, because I know that God has something greater in store for me. I spent most of my days crying trying to figure out "why this" and "why that" when the truth is... there is no "why" it just is.

I'm strong. And a lot of men see me as a challenge when they first meet me. "Oh! I can handle her!" Then when they see how passionate and dedicated to God I am. They realize that they got in too deep and they really can't "handle it." Instead of admitting that (since men don't like to lose...) they lash out and act disrespectful.

Well, I don't have to put up with that. I'm ready for what God has for me. I want a husband. I want to travel. I want to be on runways all over the world. But more importantly than that I want to start my ministry. I know that God has one in mind for me to do. It was laid on my heart to start: Voice lessons or to be a music teacher. 

I was too focused on taking care of everyone else and what would make them happy, that I wasn't focused on what would make me happy. I tend to always give my heart too soon and give too much of it away. I learned that you have to pray and praise God through the fire. No matter what you are going through. I also learned that you should not SIT DOWN on your praise for God. Do you think God will obey the door to your blessings, if you mumble through the praise and worship time? Or if you text during church. That is disrespectful to God.

I'm a Queen through Christ, Confident in God all the way through and when God sends my husband he will be a king through Christ and he will match my passion and fire for God. We will be on the same wave-length and on one accord. 

To God be the glory!