I'm taking some time away from the online world that I know to figure out a few things in my head. A part of me feelings like all the sharing that I'm doing of basic truth falls on deaf ears. I feel like no one cares about what I'm doing unless I do something that makes a big impact. I have to be able to influence many people. I was happy at the one or two people that I did reach with the truth that God put on my heart to share.
I admit that not all of my posts on fb were from God. I would hope that people would recognize the difference. The posts that seem to have the most emotion behind them were not from God. They were based off raw emotion. But the posts that were solid, that sounded like something a grandmother or grandfather would tell their grandchild that was from God.
I always knew that I was different. I just didn't know how much different. I also joke that God gave me the wisdom of an 80 year old and the body of a 20 year old. It is a joke that most chuckle at, in respect, even though it holds a great deal of truth....
I need time to re-connect with my heart. To heal more. I need confirmation of where God needs me to be, who he needs me to associate with and what he needs me to do.
Where: DC, Greensboro, Raleigh or Winston-Salem?
Who: Friends? Which ones do I keep or which ones do I leave behind?
What: continue this modeling thing, go full time into teaching, move into a completely different field all together?
I know that God will provide all my needs.
I still need a job that pays all my bills. A bed in a room, in a house or apt to stay in until I can get on my feet. I also need another/new vehicle.
I feel like change is around the corner, and if I can hold on then things will get better.