I want to be in a position where I am in control of what I create.
I am tired of people, taking my beautiful and magical ideas and downplaying them for their entertainment and or sick twisted pleasure of just being miserable creatures and wanting to add discord where none needs to be...
This is a reflection of my time in the fashion, runway, makeup and style world.
As a model/artist and talent I have discovered a few solid #factz
1. If, the designer has a certain vision for their show, you could be put in the front, middle and or back.
2. If the designer particularly favors you then you will probably walk in almost every scene and or walk in the the biggest main scenes
(The reality is that they can pick and choose who their favorite models are because it is their line. It is about vision, business and what makes the designer most happy. So, even if you "break your neck and back" trying to get to the rehearsals on time, practice your walk every day (which you should be doing anyway(lol) are professional and try not to raise your hand too much in class because you know the right answers (most of the time...) it doesn't matter.
3. Being gorgeous, pretty and or extra beautiful doesn't guarantee that you will get favor during the show. So, you could hear the whole song list and only like one or two songs, but still have to walk to the rest of the ones that you don't like or you could only be seen once. It is still about what the designer envisions you in.
4. Your progress as a model doesn't matter. It does not get any recognition. No one cares that you have improved, except for the ones who actually care about you improving. You know that you were born to be a supermodel, but you just blossomed a little later than the others who recognized their gift.... but it is not about status, it is about who the designer (s) favor, see the most in their vision, and makes them the most happy.
These are a few of the the realities I discovered as I prepared my heart my heart to be broken, yet again. Popularity can take you far, but then there are some of us who have to fight our way just to be seen or heard despite being considered one of the most "high fashion" quality, passionate, hard working etc out of all the models.
But, when my heart gets broken, I rip it out and glue it back together with determination. I will be seen and I will be heard.