"That's Not Who You Really Are..." (How Would You Know?)

When you are strong, people assume that that is how you always are and always will be. 

But that is far from the truth. Those who are considered to be strong in spirit get tired too. They go through bad days and confused emotions just liked everyone else, but they don't necessarily show them as often as others.

So...

People often disappoint themselves when they assume, instead of "know." Whatever happen to "getting to know" someone? I feel as though that very important step has been taken out of the "relationship" process. 

When people assume that someone is a certain way, they set themselves up for disappointment. What if you think someone is a perfect angel and then they do something that you don't agree with? Well (in my experiences) that automatically makes you not want to further get to know them. Then the judgments come in. 

Then you start to assume the worst about someone, based off of that one moment in time. 

People assume that because I like makeup, dressing up and wearing high heels that it automatically makes me "superficial..." *how sad*

Why can't I enjoy looking good for myself? 

Why can't I like enhancing the beauty that God gave me with a little eyeliner or lip gloss? 

Why can't I enjoy wearing whatever makes me feel the most beautiful? 

Kings Don't Share Castles

When you are in college it makes sense to share an apartment with someone because you two are on the same page and trying to get your life in order. I can even understand being in master's school and sharing an apartment too. 

But, after you get out in the real world any real man who claims to be "grown" should pay all his own bills and be the king of his own castle. If they don't they are not a real man. They are not a king.

"I'm Just Being Realistic: Sad Generation of "Men"

I had to take a very small break from focusing on the modeling and singing so that I could reflect on a pattern that I have noticed the decline of...

The Few Out of The Many

I feel in a very poetic mood. I should be sleeping, but my mind is far from tired.
I feel like I have a million things to do, but only an hour to do them all in.

I am thankful for all of those who did not give up on me. For those who spoon-fed truth to me because (at the time) it was too much for me to digest. I am even thankful for those who continued to love me even from long distance. They were kind, patient, filled with joy and even more than that continued to love me when I did not have the strength nor courage to love myself.

When you meet someone who is willing to look you in the eyes and tell you the truth because they want you to have a peace within yourself, you should at least consider what they have to say.
When you meet someone who is willing to stand and fight beside you through your good, bad and ugly changes that is a relationship worth fighting to keep. You don't meet a lot of people who will readily sacrifice their time, heart and body to helping you, "get out of the hole."

In some cases you will meet people who, can only be there for a short term. Sometimes, they really do want to stay in your life and continue to encourage you and watch you grow in grace. But, maybe they were not built for that kind of pressure.

There are two things that I had to learn: 

1. Not everything is made for everyone
2. Not everyone will get the lesson as quickly as others will

So, now there is a new challenge. Not only must I be patient with myself, but now I am forced to be patient with other people. I can not expect everyone to be "baby Einsteins" but I also can not expect them to be no more intelligent than a rock. I had to take off my expectations and wait for them to show me who they are, their strengths, their weaknesses and their joys.

The Waiting Room: Please GOD pick me to dance next!!!

I believe that waiting for confirmation on which direction to take to get to Greatness is one of the most difficult challenges. Why? because sometimes in the frustration of life, we stop and we compare our lives to those around us. She has a new car. He has a new house. They have a new job. Etc. 

And here we are still waiting...

There are things in life worse than having to wait, but the anticipation can try our patience greatly.
                               

Christmas Eve & Day: 2014 Reflection

Christmas Eve & Christmas Day Reflection: 

I guess people don't think that I have a life outside of them. It is not on their time and about what they want to do, then you better be beware of the "guilt you into doing something" monster. 

I have a confession to make: I need to be way more bluntly honest than I have been. Sometimes being "in love" or being in a relationship takes the "bite" out of the stink so to speak and softens you down so much, that you can no longer taste the "kick" in your holiday punch. 

But, that won't be me anymore...

I'm tired of people telling me things at the last minute and then expecting me to snap my magical fingers and BOOM! VA BOOM! I'm ready! At your service, with my slave chains on ready to serve you. 

Even, if I am told about an event in advance that does not guarantee that I will be able to go... why? Because I have a life outside of other people. And in particular I go where I am most appreciated and where I am most peaceful. If, I think there will be drama of any kind, I will not attend. Why? Because, I'd rather watch drama on TV than have it going on in my own life. 

It is hard to think clearly, (properly analyze) when you have a handful of people that complain about everything you do no matter how you do it, or how hard you try. It doesn't matter. IF they don't see you producing immediate results to their liking, then you get to be in the: HOT SEAT. I'm not available for interviews at this time, but when I am... I will let the world know. 

On the other hand, I had a very Soap Opera Christmas eve and a very peaceful Christmas Day. I never had a Christmas where I laughed so much, but I had a wonderful time. Not because I received tons of gifts, but because I got to spend time with people who I don't feel judge me on every little thing and mostly I got to just relax in who God created me to be. Loud, beautiful, dynamic and stunningly charming. 

I believe that 2015 will be a year of: 

#NoExcuses #FinishIt #BuildTheFoundation. 

2014: 

I learned that most times people don't really know what they can handle until they are in a situation that challenges them to look beyond their comfort zone. 

I also learned that no everyone who claims they are a "Christian" is really (trying) to follow Christ. Some people just use Jesus Christ as a ploy to get other people to "follow them" or "like" their facebook statuses. 

Welcome to a perfect world: Where you can be facebook famous for posting stuff that you really don't believe in or where you can take ten million selfies and feel like a celebrity for a day. Please! let us not forget the famous YOUTUBE special where you can get your 15 minutes of fame by doing tacky, obnoxious, even reckless videos and everyone praises you for being an idiot. 

Thank God 2015 is here. I'm ready to see what is next.